


Unpredictable

by country13



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: F/M, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Goodbye, Goodbyes, M/M, Protective Siblings, Sibling Bonding, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 17:49:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18057197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/country13/pseuds/country13
Summary: Fiona's goodbye visit to Ian in prison.





	Unpredictable

Her brother looked good, looked healthy.  That’s the first thing she noticed as she spotted him sitting at a nearby table outside Beckman Correctional.  He had bulked up, the muscles in his arms straining against his yellow jumpsuit.  His hands were folded together on the table in front of him, his red hair shining brightly in the early afternoon Chicago sun.

 It sure looked a hell of alot better than that black hair he had the last time she saw him.  Her heart ached as she thought about the last time she had seen him.  The regret she had was palpable that it was at the Gallagher kitchen table, and not here, where she should have been when he first went in to this place.

 But instead, she was muddling through what had become a shit show of a cluster fuck that was her life.  So much so that she had actually forgotten all about dropping him off here to begin his sentence.  She had actually forgotten all about the brother who would be within the walls of this prison for the next two years.

She wasn’t sure if Ian even wanted to see her or would ever forgive her for that, but in just a couple of hours, she would be gone for good from the South Side, and she couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to her little brother.

As she made her way to the table, she took in Ian’s demeanor.  He seemed calm, just looking around at nothing in particular.  He certainly seemed at ease considering where he was.  But he had been in here almost a year, so she figured he had probably gotten used to it all by now, if you ever were able to get used to prison.

He hadn’t spotted her yet, his head turned to the side. It almost seemed like he had this peace about him, which Fiona found ironic, considering his environment.  As she flashed back to her time in prison several years ago, the last thing she ever remembered feeling was peace.

She walked up closer to him and, noticing the movement out of the corner of his eye, he turned his head and his face broke out into a wide smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners.  Her brother really was beautiful, especially when he smiled like that.  He braced his hands on the table and pushed himself up to make his way over to her.

“Fiona,” he said simply as his long arms engulfed her in a fierce hug.  Oh, she was going to miss these hugs.  With Ian, they were few and far between, but when you got one from him, you could feel all his love through it.  

She felt tears prickle the corners of her eyes and silently chided herself.  They hadn’t even started their visit good and if she was tearing up already, there was no way she was going to make it through the next few minutes without becoming a blubbering mess.

“Hey, little brother,” she said, affection permeating her tone. She patted his back a couple times before they finally broke apart.  She reached up and rubbed his buzz cut head, not being able to resist.  “Look at your hair, Ian! I just thank God you got rid of that black shit.”

“I know, I know,” Ian agreed, as he instinctively rubbed at his head after Fiona. “I’m glad to be rid of that black shit, too.  Come sit down.”

He motioned for her to take a seat and she did as he said, sitting down and placing her hands out flat in front of her.  An awkward silence hung in the air for a few moments, neither one of them sure of how to begin the conversation.

“So, how is everybody?” Ian asked.

“Everybody’s good,” Fiona nodded.  Fuck, she felt like a shit when she realized that nobody had been to visit him until now. Her words began rushing out and she was unable to stop them. “Ian, I’m so sorry nobody has been to visit.  I’m sorry I wasn’t here to drop you off when you went in and……”

“Fiona, stop.” Ian put his hands up to reiterate his words.  “It’s okay. I know you’re all busy with other shit.”

“No, it’s not okay, Ian.I’m so fucking, sorry, okay?” Ian nodded, not able to look at her in the eye, which told Fiona that his words didn’t really match what he was really feeling.  

The whole Gallagher clan should be ashamed of themselves, but Fiona especially.  It was had been her job all these years to take care of these kids, and she couldn’t deny the fact that she had failed Ian.

On that note, she decided it best to change the subject. “So, how have you been in here? Has it been just awful?”

She watched as his eyes flitted over to something across the yard, and then back to her before he answered. “No, it hasn’t been too bad, actually. I’m working in the hospital here, helping people.  Besides getting pummeled by a couple of pissed off prisoners who were afraid of shots, it hasn’t been half bad.”

Fiona hissed through her teeth. “Yikes! Well, hey, that’s great that you are doing something you enjoy.  All I ever did was laundry when I was in and I fucking hated it.”

Ian grinned stupidly and let out a small chuckle at her words and looked out across the yard again before turning his attention back to her.  What the hell?

Her next question she was dreading, but she had to know before she left, had to make sure he was taking care of himself.  She dropped her eyes to her hands as they rubbed back and forth over the rough surface of the table.  She couldn’t look him in the eye as she asked, not knowing how he was going to react.  “Are you taking your meds, Ian?”

His reaction surprised her to say the least. He grabbed her fidgeting hands in his and waited until her eyes came back up to meet his before he answered. “Yes, Fiona.  I’m taking my meds.  I have therapy sessions with the prison psychiatrist several times a week.  I’m feeling great right now. I had a little setback a couple months ago and started feeling down but I immediately told Dr. Harper and we adjusted my meds and it worked.  I promise, Fi. I’m taking care of myself.”

 He squeezed her hands in extra reassurance as she slumped her shoulders in relief.  She couldn’t express how happy she was to hear that.  This subject had always been a sore spot with them.  Ian denied his illness for so long, and Fiona just kept picturing him ending up like Monica, and that thought scared her to death. But now that she knows he’s accepted his illness and is doing everything he can to maintain it, she couldn’t be happier.

Her tears threatened again, but she was able to blink them back.  The lump in her throat was being a stubborn bitch though as she attempted to swallow around it. “I’m really fucking proud of you, you know that?”

Ian released her hands and folded his arms in front of him, almost defensively.  He always hated compliments.  She couldn’t help but smile at him.  “Thanks,” he said shyly.

The next thing she had to say was really going to be hard, she knew.  She had to tell him the reason for her visit.  He had no idea this was a goodbye and she had no idea how to begin to broach the subject.  

She felt good about her decision.  The Gallaghers were all practically grown, and they were all doing pretty good.  Even though Ian was here in prison, he seemed happier and more grounded than she remembered him ever being.  She felt she had a small hand in all of that somewhat. Life was so damn funny sometimes.

But Fiona knew it was time that she lived her life for her. She doesn’t regret one single second of raising her kids, watching them grow into the young adults they were now. They had all survived, in one piece, and that’s all she could ask for.  Fuck knows they had been through some crazy shit, and she knew without a doubt that she had fucked up more times than she could count.  But all in all, they had turned out okay. Her kids didn’t need her anymore.

Fiona took a deep breath and blew it out slowly as she began.  She decided that straight and to the point was best.  Quick and painless, like ripping off a bandaid. “Ian, I am leaving Chicago.”

Ian’s smile fell slightly as her words registered.  “Leaving? What do you mean? Where are you going?”

“Well, that’s the thing, see.  I don’t know exactly where I’m going.” She saw Ian’s confused look, his furrowed brows, and explained further. “That guy, Max, who I invested in the nursing home with, bought me out of my share.” She lowered her voice instinctively. “A hundred thousand dollars.”

Ian’s eyebrows shot up. “Holy shit.”

Fiona chuckled at his reaction. “Yeah,” she responded, keeping her voice just barely above a whisper. “Now, I’ve put fifty thousand dollars in a safe deposit box.  That’s ten thousand dollars for each of you, and I only ask one thing from all of you.”

“What’s that?” Ian asked.

“Spend it on something that is going to make you happy, make your life better.  Don’t blow it on some stupid shit.”

Ian scoffed. “You mean like Carl buying that hot tub with Monica’s meth money?”

Fiona scrunched up her nose at that memory, hating the fact that the only legacy left by their mother was some damn stolen meth money. “Yeah, exactly.  Oh, and one more thing,” Fiona continued. “Whatever you do, don’t tell Frank a damn thing about it.”

“Yeah, no shit, Fi,” Ian spat sarcastically at the mention of their worthless piece of shit father.

They laughed quietly together and after a brief, silent pause, Ian spoke again. “I’m happy for you, big sister.  I’m glad it’s you that’s finally getting out.  Nobody deserves it more than you.  You’ve put up with our asses long enough.”

Fiona smiled affectionately. “Thanks, Ian.  That means a lot.  I wish you guys could have had more, I wish I could have done more for you…..”

“I don’t,” Ian interrupted.  He fixed his eyes right on hers.  “Nobody could’ve done a better job than you did, Fiona.  You hear me? Nobody,” he said emphatically.

Fiona couldn’t help the tears that fell at Ian’s words.  They were flowing freely now.

Ian gave her a minute to compose herself, watching as she swiped her hands across her damp cheeks.  “So, no idea where you’re headed, huh?”

“Nope, I’m just gonna spend some time traveling.  You know, I’ve always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty, maybe I’ll go to New York, see a Broadway play.” Ian smiled as her face lit up with excitement.  “Could you just picture it? Fiona Gallagher, South Side hood girl in New York City.  You know, I’ve also always wanted to…..”

Fiona looked up to see Ian staring across the yard, a slow, almost salacious smile splitting across his face.  He obviously had tuned her out.  What the hell was he looking at? She followed his gaze until it landed on a man lying on a bench press lifting weights, sweat rolling down his arms, while another man stood behind him spotting him.      

Of course, Ian had always been a horn dog and being surrounded by hundreds of men  24/7 had certainly done nothing but surely exacerbated that situation.  She just hoped he was being safe. But there was no way in hell she was going to voice that concern to her brother.  He was old enough to understand the risks.  She drew the line at his meds as far as voicing her concern went. She had never gotten involved in her siblings’ sex lives and she wasn’t about to start now.

Just then the sweaty stranger sat up and grabbed the towel lying on the ground next to him, wiping his face, making Fiona unable to see him clearly. He swung the towel around his neck, holding it on each end, and looked up, staring straight at them.  Holy shit, it couldn’t be.

She glanced back at her brother who was laser focused on the man still, his sister seemingly forgotten. “Um, is that…...is that Mickey Milkovich?”

At the mere mention of that name, Ian’s grin grew impossibly wider, giving her the answer to her question. She turned back to Mickey, who was still staring straight at Ian.  He didn’t even acknowledge Fiona’s presence. He tipped his head back at Ian, a silent question passing between them.  Ian nodded and finally turned his attention back to his sister. “Yes, yes it is.”

Fiona opened and closed her mouth several times, completely shocked and unable to think of what to say. Finally, she found her voice again. “What the hell happened, Ian? What is he doing here?”

Honestly, Fiona had never really liked the fact that Ian started up with Mickey.  That whole family was so violent, so hardened, no doubt as a result of living with their horrible father who made Frank look like Father of the Year. She never understood them and maybe that’s what was so off-putting, the fear of the unknown.  But one thing she had to admit, Mickey was wonderful to Ian when he got sick, much better for him during that time than Fiona was, so there was probably some underlying resentment there.

“Well,” Ian began tentatively, “it’s a long story, but basically he ratted out the cartel he was working for in Mexico and got to choose where he served his time. He got a much shorter prison sentence because of it, too.”

Fiona was flabbergasted.  She had no idea what to say. “So, he chose to come here? With you?”

“Yeah.  He works in the laundry,” Ian smirked. Fiona’s understanding registered on her face. “He fucking hates it too.”

Fiona laughed lightly and folded her arms in front of her.  She shook her head  as she leaned down to look right into her brother’s shiny green eyes.  Her laughter dissipated into a look of total seriousness.  What she said next she said with the utmost sincerity. “He really does fucking love you, doesn’t he?”

Ian nodded immediately, confidently. “He does.  And I love him too.”

If that didn’t prove how much Mickey loved her brother, she didn’t know what would.  Right then, in that moment, she regretted every disparaging thing she ever thought about Mickey Milkovich.  Hell, she wished she could be that lucky to have somebody give up their life, their freedom for her like that.

“I hope you realize how lucky you are.”

“Oh, I do.  I do.”

“Well, I guess I can stop worrying about you, now, huh?” She patted Ian on the hand.  “You’re in good hands.”

Ian just smiled and nodded.  Now, Fiona understood the peace and calmness she saw in Ian earlier.  Having someone you love beside you, looking out for you.  There’s nothing better.  She had that once.  Once she finally let her walls down, and let him in, it was the best feeling in the world. She shook that thought from her head as she glanced at her watch and saw that their time was almost up.

“Well, little brother, I got to get going.”

“When are you leaving?” Ian asked as they both stood from the table. 

“Got my bag in the car and headed to the train station right now.  Come here.”

He walked easily into her outstretched arms and they embraced one last time as her tears started up again.  She had cried more today than she had in her entire life.

They broke apart, and she saw that Ian had tears in his eyes as well. Something in the distance caught her eye, and she looked around Ian to see Mickey Milkovich now leaned against the chain link fence, one foot propped up behind him, his arms crossed, watching them protectively, with a serious expression on his face.  She nodded at him and smiled, hopefully conveying her appreciation to him for watching out for her little brother.

As he took in her friendly smile, his shoulders relaxed slightly, the tension in them abating somewhat and he nodded.

Her eyes came back up to land on Ian’s face, her hands braced gingerly on his upper arms. “Bye, sweetface. Take care of yourself.”

Ian sniffed and wiped his nose.  “You too.”

“I love you, Ian.”

“I love you too, Fiona.”

And with that, she gave him a small wave and turned around, glancing one last time at Mickey, watching as Ian turned in his direction and they began walking toward each other.  She knew without a doubt that her brother was going to be okay.

 

____________________________________

 

                Fiona stood on the platform of the train, excited about the unpredictability that would now be her life.  Her life had always been unpredictable.  Raising five kids on the South Side was the very epitome of unpredictability.  But this was different.  This was unpredictability on her own terms.  She liked not knowing where she was going, what she was going to do when she got there.  She had stepped onto this train multiple times, either to some shit job on the other side of town or going to buy groceries, and hoping like hell that she had enough money to cover everything.  But this time, she would get on this train to a world of possibilities.  Possibilities she’d never had before.  This was her time to live for herself, take care of herself and herself only.  She felt good about it.  It was scary as hell, but in a good way.  Finally, a good kind of scared.  She would board the next train, and she was brimming with excitement.  She couldn’t wait to start her new life.

            The train station was bustling as usual.  She stared out into the distance at all the people walking back and forth, wondering if wherever they were going was making them happy.  She realized now how damn short life was and it was certainly too short to live it unhappy.

            As she scanned the crowd, an attractive man  with brown hair and dark, tanned skin caught her eye.  He was wearing a fancy gray suit and looked very dapper.  He had his head turned, distracted by something, as he hefted his messenger bag higher up on his shoulder.  His head then came around to face the tracks in front of him and Fiona’s heart suddenly felt like it had fallen all the way down to her feet.  She locked eyes with her ex-boyfriend, Jimmy.  When he saw her, his eyes went wide and he looked just as shocked as she was.  He held up one finger in a “wait a minute” gesture and took off running, occasionally looking back to make sure she was still there.

            She watched him make his way around, almost knocking this old Asian woman down in the process, getting yelled at in some foreign language.  She doubled over, laughing so hard, she could barely breathe. But by the time he reached her, her laughter had subsided and was replaced with shallow breaths and a thundering heart.

            “What the hell are you doing here, Jimmy?” she asked as he approached.  She smiled up at him and was rewarded with his own returning smile. “Fiona, I cannot believe you’re here.  You look beautiful.”

            He looked good too.  Really good.  “You too,” she answered sweetly. As she glanced at him expectantly, she couldn’t help but notice how his eyes danced with excitement.  She reflected on the time they had spent together, and excitement was the exact word that came to mind.  Nobody had ever made her feel as alive as he had. But that was all in the past, wasn’t it?

            “I’m actually here in Chicago for a medical conference.”

            “Medical conference? Are you…..are you a doctor now?”  She couldn’t hide the shock in her voice.

            “Yes,” Jimmy nodded. “Dr. Jimmy Lishman, yep, that’s me. My dad and I opened a practice in Michigan and I’ve been there for the past two years.

            Fiona’s eyebrows shot up.  “Wow, well, I’m glad you went back to medical school.  Beats stealing cars for a living, right?”

            Jimmy scoffed nervously.  “For sure, yeah.” Jimmy’s eyes darted around nervously before he said, “Can I ask you something?”

            Fiona fidgeted with her hands nervously.  “Yeah, go ahead.”

            “Are you still married?”

            Fiona breathed in deeply before answering.  “No.  Unfortunately, it didn’t work out.”   Fiona knew he was referring to Gus, since he never even knew about Sean.  God, she really did have shit taste in men. But as she stared at Jimmy for a reaction to her news, she couldn’t help but think about how, at least once, she had gotten it right.

            Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief, like he’d been holding in the breath for a ridiculously long time.  After realizing what he had done, he fixed a sympathetic look on his face and let his smile fall into a frown. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

            “Yeah,” Fiona chucked. “I’m sure.”

            Jimmy stepped into her personal space, suddenly making breathing especially hard.  She was already having enough of a hard time with it given his close proximity. He slid his hands underneath her hair to cup her face. “I missed you, Fiona.”

            She stared up into his beautiful eyes, eyes that always saw something in her that no one else seemed to be able to see. The eyes that looked at her like she was the be all, end all.  No one had ever looked at her like that and made her heart skip a beat just by that look alone. “I missed you too, Jimmy,” she answered sincerely.

            With everything that Fiona had been through with her family, she knew that everything happened for a reason. Usually, it was bad shit that happened, but still. She had to start believing that she deserved something good for once, and Jimmy finding her today had to have been for a reason.  What were the chances? Yeah, unpredictability could be a damn good thing sometimes.

            She was going to do what made her happy, and the happiest she ever remembered being was when she was with Jimmy. She wasn’t going to be afraid of happiness anymore.  She wasn’t running from it anymore, or waiting for the other inevitable shoe to drop. 

            Jimmy looked behind her and noticed her suitcase on the ground.  “Where are you going?”

            Without hesitation, she answered. “Michigan.”

            Fiona grinned, her eyes alight with mischief.  Jimmy cocked his eyebrows and smiled as he realized what she meant. “Really?”

            “Yes, really.”

            “Holy shit.” He brought his head down and brushed his lips lightly against hers in a sweet kiss that Fiona felt all the way down to her toes.

            She finally broke the kiss and stared up into her future.  “Fuck you, Jimmy.”

            “I love you, too, Fiona.”

            At that very moment, their train stopped to let them on.  They stepped on together, ready to face whatever unpredictability came their way, together.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was my take on how I would like 9x14 to go. I know it will never happen this way, but a girl can dream, right? Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
